Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Pet peeves

Let me just list now my pet peeves, so you'll know, and we'll proceed.

1. "I could care less". really? I couldn't care less! Wait... actually, it drives me crazy.

2. People who have computers which don't have covers on them, or the covers are on infrequently because "I upgrade my computer a lot".

Listen, mini-Woz... you're not inventing the computer, you're not designing a computer. You're just pissing away your life going to Fry's buying components that were made to slip simply into sockets on that motherboard you have mounted with shipping foam and tape while you use words like "build".

In fact, you probably can't put the cover back on because it got bent when you came in with the 5th new videocard its had in a Fry's bag and were too excited to avoid kicking it. Its this simple

If your computer isn't covered, you're not using your computer.

Your computer is using you.

So just put the damn cover back on your 9-tray tower machine with 1 hard drive in it, and clean your basement like your mom told you to, okay?

3. Irregardless. Regardless of your inability to see double negatives as a problem, I couldn't care less.

4. Change for the sake of change. Example: "Why has the networking control panel changed location, the means by which to find it, and the number of preceeding "wizards" prior to finally making it to the networking control panel in Windows 95, 2000, XP, and Vista? Oh, for the sake of change!" Thanks, Microsoft!

Look, do what your mom told you... leave crap where and how you found it, unless there's a good reason to move it or change it. Otherwise, you're just proving you have ADD.

5. Ugliness for the sake of being ugly. Example: Every computer Dell has ever made. Seriously, why buy something that is ugly if you don't have to? Are you that cheap that you'll buy the ugly one just because its a buck cheaper? Wow.

So, yes, this means i'm in a real pickle... in fact, I can't even talk about the 2008 Impreza WRX... so don't ask me about it, okay? And better yet, don't mention the 2008 Lancer and how bitchin it looks, okay? In fact, just drop the whole subject.

6. People that permanently move to state/country X, but plaster their cars with shit from the state or country they used to live in. I'm talking to you, stupid Texas wanker... if Texas was so damn great, why in the hell did you move to Colorado? This goes for morons with "Guadalajara" bumper stickers as well. Your country is a 3rd world disaster that makes Mexico look like some utopia out of Star Trek.

At least Californians, for the most part, have the decency to just move here and live here and leave it at that. So just take the fscking orange bull's horns off your back window and the 35 Texas DOT stickers along the inside of your windshield off on your jacked-up-too-high Ford F-250, okay, Tex?

7. Germans.

8. Euros.

9. Soccer. Call me when you have unlimited personnel changes on the fly, the freaking offside rule (running away from the play is a legit way to get someone offside? Nice) gets fixed, and you crack down on the crybaby "he kicked me in the shin, and now i'm going to die" crap... and *maybe* i'll think about watching your dumbass sport.

Until then, its 20 guys out on a walk with 2 guys running and kicking a ball.

(yes, i'm saying if soccer was more like hockey, it would be better. Well? Wouldn't it?)

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