Thursday, June 28, 2007

Apple's hyping of the iPhone? Did i miss something?

If i read one more person write about the (undeserved, they claim) hype that Apple has generated about the iPhone who's going to kill themselves if they read one more story on the iPhone, i'm going to start taking down the whole internet.

Apple's hype machine can be described in one sentence:
A series of demos and commercials that show nothing more than a guy in a black shirt and blue jeans using the product.

And therefore, with that level of insane marketing and hype, Apple should be derided for the eventual failure and gotcha-scamming of millions of suckers that buy the things.

You are nucking futs.

Okay lets take the hype machine from the beginning to the end, eh?

1. The MWSF Stevenote:
it had to be done - the FCC announced it about 30 days after the Stevenote. And let me say that the Stevenote contained no semi-naked girlz or pop music or jumping up and down all sweaty yelling ZUNE ZUNE ZUNE! It was a 50-something bald guy with a phone wearing a black shirt and blue jeans showing people how it worked along with his demo monkey and the guy that designed it. He said he was proud of it and that Apple had been working on it for a few years.

2. The WWDC Stevenote:
people were throwing chairs at Apple over what happened. I'm not sure that on any planet, one could define THAT as hype.

3. The last two weeks:
They completed field testing, made some software tweaks, and finalized the specs based on real-world numbers that have been verified by half a dozen reviewers. Battery specs are hype? Really? They put out 4 videos showing a guy dressed as Steve Jobs USING the phone. NO music whatsoever. If that's hype, i wonder what the world would think of an arthritic cat dressed in a black shirt and blue jeans. The kids would SOOOOO want one. And you could see the cat on YouTube, i'm sure.

4. The web campaign:
they told people the rules for purchase, the costs of the plans, and provided a page to let people know if the store near them is sold out, to save them a trip driving up to Denver in the SoCal-like traffic of Denver.

Now - is there hype around this? Yes. But I submit that 99% of the hype and the reason for the anti-hype backlash is not Apple's fault.

My Proof?

Substitute Steve Jobs with Jergen Hansfrenblebimmonss and Apple with Noika and iPhone with N95 - and let me know if you think that there would be level of hype involved.

Oh wait... it didn't happen? Because the N95 is just more of the same badly designed crap that's been available from cell phone providers since the beginning.

The only hype apple has generated is that, like the iPod, they've made a device that, by all analysis, is what people WANT, rather than the crap that they're forced to choose from if they want a phone/music player/internet device. Yeah - there's a crime right there.

If Apple's campaign were any more understated or subdued on the topic of iPhone, you'd wonder if you'd have to be in a coma to use it.


My Computer Man said...

Umm, why does your site say "if something is work doing, its worth doing well... or... the opposite of whatever microsoft does" Did you mean Worth doing?

the_other_steve_jobs said...

wow. do I have egg all over my face! /Emo Philips